Please, my lighter?

i laughed in emptiness
but the emptiness
laughed back

i asked, "Whose who?"
and swore to myself
           I knew no answer.

dragons (then)
dripping with smug intelligence
blew fire in my face
until my questions blazed with heat
and my mind was swollen.

we ask ourselves halves, like what ifs
and Pandora's ashes;
but ashes are just remnants
of  unanswered wholes.

i bit my nail and threw it
into the heart of the dragon.
his eyes fierce with answers
melted and shut,
so i would have to figure them out
over some book and a cigarette
smoked in the dark.

e. chayes